PUPPET PRESSIE’S HEALTH DETERIORATES

WFC have received information that the puppet Pressie is critically ill and very weak. He has been spending more time at his Viseisei home where he feels more at peace with himself. Sources close to him say he has become withdrawn and prefer to be alone. A result of the 24/7 guilt-trip he is in for his illegal President’s mandate this junta is riding on today.

We had earlier reported that the real reason he has avoided going to Australia for a medical check-up is simply because he is no longer welcome in Australia, New Zealand and other first world countries. He is also embarrased by his actions and would rather avoid another ugly diplomatic incident by staying put in the doomed Fiji he has helped create.

Meanwhile, coup coup nutty Frank is gleefully rubbing his hands together waiting anxiously for that phone call telling him that the puppet Pressie has kicked the bucket and for him to step in and take over as President, Prime Minister and KoManda of Fiji.

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